Thank you (Saska) for participating in the Question Of The Week! I suppose I should have broadcasted the blog a bit more, ah well, a good a question as any.
Which would win in a fight, a crazed giraffe with knives taped to it’s head? Or a rhinoceros with no horns?
Ah yes, the age old debate.
Let me ask you this – Have you ever seen a fucking giraffe? The average adult is around 20 feet. Now, how about a Rhino? About six feet tall.
Do you know how a giraffe gets things off the ground? It splays it’s likes, bending them outwards so it can tilt it’s body and neck towards the ground. Imagine what that does – it gives up all mobility and most of it’s balance (plus it looks retarded) in order to get down to our (or a Rhinos) level.
I predict the fight happening like this:
(Giraffe roams up to his favorite tree, only to see a hornless Rhino defecating on it)
Giraffe: “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” (that’s the noise they make, watch Animal Planet once in awhile, okay?) (Giraffe begins taping knives to head)
The Giraffe eventually insults the Rhino, mocking him for lack of horn. The Rhino is extremely upset and charges the Giraffe, who begins to get into attack position (like an idiot). The Rhino sees the Giraffe slowly lowering it’s head and decides to run around the Giraffe who can’t turn because he’s fucking splaying his legs. The Rhino headbutts the Giraffe in the hind legs, despite lacking a horn the blow is extremely effective, the Giraffe tumbles down and the Rhino finishes him up with several (hornless) headbutts to the face.
Graphic, I know, imagine how I felt when watching it on the Discovery Channel.
And that solves that.