hai guiz, i’m on this blog, answering your questions.

Just want to go ahead and thank everyone for reading the blog, commenting and providing me material for posts like these. It’s actually incredibly fun being able to write and get a lot of the stuff written out, rather than just hold it in. With that said, I’m going to answer all of the questions asked for Question Of The Week #2. HERE WE GO!:

Number 1.

No Cake //

How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

They need to be on my level. As far as I know, there hasn’t been an assassination yet, I’m still alive. Just kidding, assassinations aren’t funny. Or are they?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2avYmpZ35s

Honestly, I think it just depends on the level of popularity of the person, along with location and time. If Barack Obama was murdered tomorrow, we would call it an assassination, now what if Kevin Rudd, the Prime Minister of Australia was killed instead? Do you think the common U.S. citzen cares or knows of him enough to think he’s that important? It’s entirely possibly that the Australian goverment cries out “ASSASSINATION!” while we here in the U.S. think “sorry your boy got murdered!”.

Unfortunately I haven’t had the chance to see what the education system is like in other countries, and what kind of history lessons they give – if you study World History in China, do they talk about the Lincoln assassination or is it more of a ‘list of U.S. presidents killed’ ?

Thanks Nick for such a downer question, fuck. To make up for it, go listen to this song, cheer up and move on to the next question. Go ahead, I’ll wait. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1xk07o4g&feature=related

Number 2.

kristina //

If brand new and frightened rabbit had a baby, what would its name be? and what would it sound like?

NO YOU!

Oh deer. LOL GET IT?

Merging two of my favorite artists is a risky business. Could BrandNew stand to have a Scottish singer? Would Jesse Lacey and Scott Hutchison blend well together? Probably. I could imagine some kind of epic ‘Backwards Walk’ and ‘I believe you, but my Tommy gun don’t’ mash-up.

Hrm. Obviously blending the two names together is kinda bleh. Frightened New? Brand New Frightened Rabbit? I would go with ‘The last band you’ll ever hear‘ because it’s going to be so fucking epic you’re going to explode after you finish listening to it. It would be wonderful.

Number 3.

Dick //

How far along in the sex change process does it take for a tranny to be considered doable?

Silly guy, you can do it anytime. You can always find a way. It’s all personal preference. I think the question you’re really asking me is “Tyler, if I got a sex change, could we…?” and you know what? Maybe.

If this kid can make it work, why can't Richie?

Number 4.

Sasqa //

If you were given the chance to take Ellen Page, Aubrey Plaza, or Jenna Fischer on a date — not taking into consideration any real world constraints — which would you choose and describe the date you would take them on in order to maximize the possibility of securing an (extremely hot) celebrity sex slave.

Choice #1.

Choice #3.

Choice #2.

This is going to be fun, remember Kristina, I love you!

Now this is strictly based off of the characters these ladies portray, as (unfortunately) I don’t know them in real life.

Ellen Page: Cute, sarcastic, quirky (Juno), enjoys kicking some ass (Whip It), but also a bit of a prude (Smart People). While I do think she’s cute, and she probably enjoys mocking people just as much as I do, I’d be too terrified that she would castrate me if I ever upset her (Hard Candy).

Aubrey Plaza: Pulls off the cute/sarcastic combo again, but sometimes she’s a little too air-headed (Parks and Recreation). Incredibly funny, could keep me laughing for awhile (Funny People), but the fact that she occasionally seems like she has downs in P&R would probably kill it for me.

If you know anything about me, you know who the winner was before even beginning to read this answer.

THE WINNER:
Jenna Fischer

WINNER!

I don’t even need to consider her other roles, Pam Beesly (Her character in the Office) is everything I could want. She’s extremely intelligent, funny and beautiful, she’s got a strong morale compass and she’s able to admit and work from mistakes (Hmm, sounds a lot like… my girlfriend! <3).  Granted, the relationship between Pam and Jim was what pulled me into the show and kept me going, so I might be a bit biased.

I know you’re looking for some detailed scenario in which I win her over with some ‘Say Anything-esq’ magic but honestly, I’m amazing. If she met me she could be mine pretty easily if I could turn on my charm. Unfortunately I’d probably just keep making Office references, ask her to say “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam” on my voicemail greeting and then ask her what it’s like getting to hang out with John Krasinksi, she would most likely get annoyed and walk out.

But what do I care? I’ll just call myself.

Phew. That was a long one. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

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3 responses to “hai guiz, i’m on this blog, answering your questions.

  1. Phew. That was a long one. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

    Thats what sex changed, hot ass, ritchiel said.

  2. How do you type these posts with no hands?

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