Category Archives: Life

Vegas trip: Day 1

And so it begins…

I’m writing this mid drive, on my phone, so forgive me for any grammatical and/or spelling errors :)

I now know everything there is to know about In-n-out, I never expected the conversation that there of their employees sitting in a back seat would have but hey, now I know :D

Del taco in batstow = best thing ever. Those 59 cent tacos we get in san diego? Imagine them twice the size, add tomatoes and lettuce plus some seasoning on the beef and you know what’s up!

Its been five hours since trip start and I’m still not drink? Tucker Max would be disappointed. Forgive me!

My only regret? Not being able to watch tonights Lost. Seriously… its like my religion. CHURCH OF JACOB, sup?

More soon, stay tuned, dudes. <3


The Final Countdown!

Do you hear the song playing in your head? You should.

I decided I’ve had enough of this commuting, it’s been going on since the beginning of November, which may not seem like a long time to some people but driving 200+ miles a day can really bring you down…

Let’s think about this:

As of April 30, 2010 (My last day of work) there will have been 114 days of work since I moved back to San Diego.

114 days x 200 miles per day = 22,8000 miles (my poor, poor car).

22,800 miles / 325 miles per fill-up (average) @ $40 = $2,806.15 in gas.

5 oil changes @ $60 a piece (damn v-dub) and three new tires @ $100 a piece = $500.00

$3,306.15 just in commuting expenses!

Energy drinks consumed: About one a day, sometimes two. Yay.

Times I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel: Three. Terrifying, every time. Eventually learned that if I get tired enough to just pull over and go for a quick walk, gets the blood bumping.

Times almost in an accident: Six.

Times in an accident: Once. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t even on the freeway, sheesh.

Tires blown mid-drive and replaced by me: Two. /flex

Times pulled over: Zero. /knocks on wood.

Average day: Leave home at 6:00AM and get home at 7:00PM.

Times I got home on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday and still saw the sun up, before DST: Four times.

So what did I do? Well, I told my work I was leaving. I’m here until April 30th, so that I can help train my replacement and leave amicably. Everyone seems pretty understanding, and while I’ll miss the people, and the money, it’s not worth it to continue doing this, it’s far too detrimental to me, physically and mentally.

What am I going to do? I don’t know, I’ve got nothing lined up, but as far as I see it, as long as I’m happy, who cares?

I have a year before I can start the Radiology program at Mesa so I’ll make do until then – hoping much better off then I’ve been!

I do plan on taking at least a small break between jobs (unless I find something right away) and spending some time at the beach, lanning and go in to my girlfriends med classes to be a guinea pig. :D

halp, I need more time in a day!

30 hour days would be perfect for me.

Been struggling to keep up with work/commuting/family/relationship/friends and just haven’t had enough time to post a proper update. I am working on one that’s essentially ‘How the Oscars would have been if Tyler Coney ran the show’, but I haven’t had time to bang it out (hey-ohhhhhhh).

Is anyone else deeply upset with the fact that National Drinking Day aka St. Patrick’s Day is on a freakin’ Wednesday? What the ef is that about? I suppose the following Thursday is going to be an interesting day at work, wheeee!

I didn’t have a chance to see a movie this week, our local theatre stopped doing it’s $5 movie Tuesdays, which has caused me to boycott the theaters until Friday when ‘Remember Me’ comes out.

That’s right, I want to see it.

I did however see ‘The Crazies’ last week which was unbelievably good. I went in expecting very little as finding a good horror movie is such a rarity these days, but it was fantastic. Felt like I was watching some twisted combination of ‘Snakes on a Plane’ and an ‘Of the Dead’ movie. One of the highlights though had to be the mentally handicapped guy sitting in the front row. I’m not proud of laughing at this but my god… every time it would get suspenseful/silent this guy would moan. At first I was convinced it was the movie but sure enough he was just doin’ his thing and making odd sounds. Bravo, sir!

I’m in the process of making my beer pong table; I think I’ll be adding an update as I go step-by-step so I can share the beautiful transformation with the world.

I need to gtfo work so I can watch Lost, halp, halp.

hai guiz, i’m on this blog, answering your questions.

Just want to go ahead and thank everyone for reading the blog, commenting and providing me material for posts like these. It’s actually incredibly fun being able to write and get a lot of the stuff written out, rather than just hold it in. With that said, I’m going to answer all of the questions asked for Question Of The Week #2. HERE WE GO!:

Number 1.

No Cake //

How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

They need to be on my level. As far as I know, there hasn’t been an assassination yet, I’m still alive. Just kidding, assassinations aren’t funny. Or are they?

Honestly, I think it just depends on the level of popularity of the person, along with location and time. If Barack Obama was murdered tomorrow, we would call it an assassination, now what if Kevin Rudd, the Prime Minister of Australia was killed instead? Do you think the common U.S. citzen cares or knows of him enough to think he’s that important? It’s entirely possibly that the Australian goverment cries out “ASSASSINATION!” while we here in the U.S. think “sorry your boy got murdered!”.

Unfortunately I haven’t had the chance to see what the education system is like in other countries, and what kind of history lessons they give – if you study World History in China, do they talk about the Lincoln assassination or is it more of a ‘list of U.S. presidents killed’ ?

Thanks Nick for such a downer question, fuck. To make up for it, go listen to this song, cheer up and move on to the next question. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Number 2.

kristina //

If brand new and frightened rabbit had a baby, what would its name be? and what would it sound like?


Oh deer. LOL GET IT?

Merging two of my favorite artists is a risky business. Could BrandNew stand to have a Scottish singer? Would Jesse Lacey and Scott Hutchison blend well together? Probably. I could imagine some kind of epic ‘Backwards Walk’ and ‘I believe you, but my Tommy gun don’t’ mash-up.

Hrm. Obviously blending the two names together is kinda bleh. Frightened New? Brand New Frightened Rabbit? I would go with ‘The last band you’ll ever hear‘ because it’s going to be so fucking epic you’re going to explode after you finish listening to it. It would be wonderful.

Number 3.

Dick //

How far along in the sex change process does it take for a tranny to be considered doable?

Silly guy, you can do it anytime. You can always find a way. It’s all personal preference. I think the question you’re really asking me is “Tyler, if I got a sex change, could we…?” and you know what? Maybe.

If this kid can make it work, why can't Richie?

Number 4.

Sasqa //

If you were given the chance to take Ellen Page, Aubrey Plaza, or Jenna Fischer on a date — not taking into consideration any real world constraints — which would you choose and describe the date you would take them on in order to maximize the possibility of securing an (extremely hot) celebrity sex slave.

Choice #1.

Choice #3.

Choice #2.

This is going to be fun, remember Kristina, I love you!

Now this is strictly based off of the characters these ladies portray, as (unfortunately) I don’t know them in real life.

Ellen Page: Cute, sarcastic, quirky (Juno), enjoys kicking some ass (Whip It), but also a bit of a prude (Smart People). While I do think she’s cute, and she probably enjoys mocking people just as much as I do, I’d be too terrified that she would castrate me if I ever upset her (Hard Candy).

Aubrey Plaza: Pulls off the cute/sarcastic combo again, but sometimes she’s a little too air-headed (Parks and Recreation). Incredibly funny, could keep me laughing for awhile (Funny People), but the fact that she occasionally seems like she has downs in P&R would probably kill it for me.

If you know anything about me, you know who the winner was before even beginning to read this answer.

Jenna Fischer


I don’t even need to consider her other roles, Pam Beesly (Her character in the Office) is everything I could want. She’s extremely intelligent, funny and beautiful, she’s got a strong morale compass and she’s able to admit and work from mistakes (Hmm, sounds a lot like… my girlfriend! <3).  Granted, the relationship between Pam and Jim was what pulled me into the show and kept me going, so I might be a bit biased.

I know you’re looking for some detailed scenario in which I win her over with some ‘Say Anything-esq’ magic but honestly, I’m amazing. If she met me she could be mine pretty easily if I could turn on my charm. Unfortunately I’d probably just keep making Office references, ask her to say “Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam” on my voicemail greeting and then ask her what it’s like getting to hang out with John Krasinksi, she would most likely get annoyed and walk out.

But what do I care? I’ll just call myself.

Phew. That was a long one. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

Who would you do: Tegan or Sara?

I didn't know Canadians could ride bikes.

I took my girlfriend to see Tegan and Sara play the other night and I wanted to share some of the highlights.

  • Lesbians. Lots of lesbians. It didn’t dawn on me what kind of crowd a band comprised of two lesbians would pull in. I started to look in amazement as I walked around the venue. I think Kristina was seeing the light-bulb in my head start to flicker, so she looked at me and said “what were you expecting?”. I couldn’t help but smile. On that same note though; I did at one point go from a “WOW I HAVE TO TELL MY BOYS” to almost feeling out of place. I guess as a straight, white male I tend to fall in the majority no matter where I am, hah.
  • The midget lesbian. Half way through the second act a woman and her daughter came to sit in the two seats next to us; I began to wonder “Why would someone bring their daughter to this?” when Kristina leaned over and said “I think she’s a midget”. Sure enough, she was. I’m sorry, I know I’m going to hell but I couldn’t stop laughing, and of course we got to have some interaction with her, in having to exchange seats so she could be in the aisle and see. I wanted to ask for a picture but really, how do you do that without being THAT offensive? For the record: I have nothing against people in that position, it just pleases my soul a little bit, in a weird way.
  • The (wo)mens bathroom. They turned all but one mens room into womens restrooms. Apparently the girls didn’t feel that was enough as they continually tried to storm into the bathroom. I was standing at the urinal when the door swung open and two girls ran in, saw both stalls were already taken and realized out loud ‘urinals aren’t for us’, so they walked out. Additionally, as I was washing my hands one of the stall doors opened and a girl came out, looked at me in the mirror and laughed (I have no idea why she laughed, but whatever, as long as he knows if it happens again, there’s gonna be trouble).

The show itself: Tegan and Sara have an awesome stage presence, I honestly feel I could listen to them talk/joke the whole time and skip the music, their conversations are just magical. They played the four songs I know/like – Call it off, Nineteen, Walking with a ghost and that Tiesto song, sans Tiesto.

Drunk lesbians are really the best drunks; the stage was being littered with bra’s, of which Sara mentioned they were keeping, shredding and using the scraps to make blankets.

Now the important question of the night came from girls screaming after either Tegan or Sara, I realized there was no “I LOVE YOU, BOTH, EQUALLY!!!” It was always one or the other, why?! Wouldn’t their dream be to have both, or is this a guy thing? Hmm. Thoughts?

Where was I going with this entire post? TL;DR – show was good, I can scratch off a life goal of meeting a lesbian midget and my girlfriend was probably the happiest I’ve ever seen her. Two thumbs up.

Lesson learned from this adventure? Drink more alcohol at shows, ask midgets for pictures!

Where is my mind?

brostorm? yes, yes it was.

this is the kind of magic you'll find on chat roulette.

Really good weekend overall, Friday I had the urge to play Madden, so I invited people over for that and to shoot pool – to sweeten the pot I added in “PIZZA AND BEER!”.

Richie learned a valuable lesson in ‘Don’t teach drunk people to play card games‘. It does not work. (Sorry Rich! Better luck next time).

Now the best part of the night? Chat Roulette.

For those unaware of this magical (and disturbing) website; Chat Roulette links you up with another random person anywhere in the world for webcam-based conversations. The majority of which are either (lonely) males ‘hangin’ out’ or people masturbating (no joke) but you would occasionally find another group of people, or just some really interesting people who didn’t want to just expose themselves or creep you the f out.

So we set up the laptop with a webcam and pointed it towards our pool table so we could chat while playing; as expected we got mostly ‘chillin’ bros’ or people in the middle of ‘taking care of business’ but we did find a couple cool people.

  • Tim Burton obsessed lesbians sitting on a couch, wearing AND talking about their Alice in Wonderland t-shirts.
  • Guy who was sitting in what I can only describe as a space station – at this point I didn’t have a webcam working so he only saw a blank screen where our cam was supposed to be. I convinced him it was his video card and it wasn’t working properly, which resulted in us getting to watch him climb around his desk trying to un-plug/plug things in an attempt to get it working.
  • Another guy from Utah, who picked up his cam and showed us his house and spoke to us in German after me yelling various German phrases. Thanks for letting me put that four years of German classes to work!

Unfortunately we had some lighting issues so we gave up after about an hour, but it was incredibly fun while it lasted.

Saturday we had a LAN.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, gigantic nerds.

It had been awhile though, so it was great fun. My girlfriend (finally?) got to see me in that environment, hopefully she still loves me as much as she did before. :)

I learned two things that night:
Hearing “BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTOOOOOOOORM” every 90 seconds was in fact as exciting as it sounds (LOVE IT) and a Jason who drinks far too many (four) energy drinks in a couple of hours becomes a Jason that everyone loves; dancing and singing Jason.
Seriously, I thought I had befriended Kid Cudi, he was dropping lines over any song I put on and he made it seem so effortless, wtf did that come from? I don’t even.(hah)

I have a quote of the night that’s written down on a POST-IT note at home, I’ll have to edit this and put it on here once I remember it . :)

Oh, and what the hell is with this Saturday rain pattern? For the past couple of weekends I get all excited at the prospect of going out and hiking or playing Frisbee and sho’ ’nuff that rain comes pouring down, making everything muddy for the rest of the weekend. You know what I have to say? Fuck you, rain. I live in California for a reason, go back to Seattle – I know you’re reading and this and I hope it hurts your feelings.

Potential posting schedule.

I want to keep at this as best as I can, so hopefully by posting my intentions for the blog certain people (read: Kristina, Saska, Nick, ???) might keep on me (remind me and/or verbally abuse me) about updating things.

Sunday/Monday: Chronicle the events of the previous weekend; possible movie reviews.

Tuesday/Wednesday: Articles on music (possibly an artist of the week); television updates (sup, L O S T?), mid-week ramblings about everything I like… or hate about the current week.

Thursdays: I’d like to have a ‘Question of the day’ submitted by readers, leave a comment on Thursdays post with a question, it can be anything (ask about a specific story, an opinion, random shit, whatever) and I’ll choose one to answer on Fridays.

Fridays: Drinking game of the week & Answer to Question of the day.

Saturdays: Probably nothing. Maybe something nerd related. Maybe?